before_i_break

[gabelangley]

I decided I needed someone to talk to that couldn't actually tell my secrets. And I mean couldn't, because if you had a choice, I'm sure one would somehow slip, right? So I made a list of some things that we should get straight. I might have to update it later on, but this is what I have so far.

1. Don't take offense if I yell at you when I'm drunk.

2. If there is any possible way you CAN talk, even if it's seems impossible, you should tell me now.

3. You are NOT a diary. You're a journal. And if you can talk, you are not allowed to tell anybody that I have one.

4. I'm the writer, you're the journal. I write, you listen. Or read. Or whatever you do. If I wanted someone to talk all the way through, I would go find a human being to talk to.

5. Don't be offended if I don't write something every day. I'm not the best at remembering stuff and I doubt that will change now just because I have a journal. Not only that, but I probably won't have anything to say every single day.

6. Did I mention that nobody can know about you?

So...that's pretty much all that I can think of right now. What kind of stuff do people put in journals anyways? Well, I had a really strange dream last night. Supposed I could tell you about that. It took place in an attic. I thought it was going to be like in the movies where something really awesome happens in there. Or maybe I find something really cool. But instead, I entered the basement attic from nowhere and walked around a few times. Kind of like I was looking for something, but then I just sat down and I'm not sure what happened after that. Maybe I woke up.

Well I suppose it's time I stop laying about in my apartment and go out and do something. Not in the perverted sense, that is.

[gabelangley]

See, I told you I wasn't good at keeping up with this stuff. I must have been a bit intoxicated when I wrote my last entry, because I switched between attic and basement and I just now noticed.

So...yeah. Nothing too interesting happening in life right now that I really want to talk about. Made a few new friends. One that I've apparently slept with twice now. His name is Dymetri. Mostly on invitation. I think when people seem to find out, it makes them think bad of me. Strange enough, I don't sleep around often and not with that many people. For instance now the only person I've been sleeping with is Dymi, and that was only two times as I stated before.

I'm not sure if it has to do with me sleeping with someone I'm not dating, or if it's because of the person I'm doing it with. I guess it doesn't matter. They should probably just mind their own business. I try not to be so open about it, though to be more respectful because I don't think most people want to know about that. Besides that, sleeping around isn't really my thing. It just sort of starts.

I also met a girl named Pinky. She's a senior in high school and turns out to be pretty awesome. She's very outgoing, loves to drink, and she loves bright colors. She also really likes to cook. I didn't really think about it until now, but on first glance I might have thought she was like one of those girls that didn't really eat much or was a vegetarian. But she's full of surprises.

[gabelangley]

I'm still thinking a person like me shouldn't have a journal.. Don't you think? I suppose if you could talk, you wouldn't agree with me, since you are the journal. I didn't really mark when I last wrote anything down, but I'm guessing it was quite awhile ago. Well... let's just get on with the diary entry, then.

I got to talk to my family today. We got on Skype and had a small family session, but they didn't seem to miss me too much. I think it mostly has to do with the fact that we keep in touch enough for them not to. I kind of miss not being able to hang out with my brother, though. I think we might go and do something fun when I go down to visit next time.

You remember the girl I was telling you about last time? Pinky? Well she ended up in the hospital because of a shark attack. Luckily it wasn't anything too bad, like life threatening. She had to stay in the hospital for awhile, but I told her I would take her out for real food when she got out. She talked me into making it into a real date. I also found out that she likes motorcycles, so I bought one for our date. I was already planning on getting one, so I didn't necessarily buy it just because she likes them. I don't know if I bought the kind she likes, but I guess since it was for me, that doesn't really matter, does it?

We went to eat at The Black Fish, I think. It's a nice restaurant. It looks kind of fancy, but it really isn't that fancy. The prices are decent and their food is really good. They even serve wine if you want it. She definitely likes to flirt and I admit I wasn't helping the matters any. Do you think this is going to go anywhere? I still haven't broken off my little fling with Dymetri yet. Mainly because I haven't even seen him lately. I suppose I should walk down to his dorm and tell him.

Do you think it would be bad if I didn't tell Pinky about my fling with Dymi? I mean if we start dating, the fling will have been before I was with her. Just...if I don't hurry up, it won't be broken off until we start dating - if we do. Maybe I'm just worrying over nothing.

[gabelangley]

I just found out what happens when you don't write in a journal for a long time.... pretty much you have too much to write down. Not that I ever go back and read any of it, so I still have no clue why I'm doing this.

So I finally broke off whatever I had with Dymetri, which was pretty much nothing, I guess. I mean I hardly ever visited or anything, but that happened ages ago. I broke that off before my first date with Pinky. Not only that, but once Pinky graduated, she moved into my apartment. I'm not sure whether that was a good or bad move, although it was my idea. I asked her before graduation and she seemed pretty psyched to do it. I guess we'll find out sooner or later whether it was too soon to make a move like that. I definitely won't miss our several hours talks on the phone, though. Don't get me wrong - I like talking to her, even on the phone. But I don't like talking on the phone that much.

Anyways, I changed my major to Construction, which is what my job kind of was in the first place. Doing certain things, but after awhile I'll be able to do more and get paid more at least. Pinky told me she was planning on getting a job, which is good. Mainly because it shows she doesn't want to just lounge around the apartment all the time, since her mom gives her plenty of money. It's just going to be a bit hard with both of us working and me still going to the University, but right now it's still summer time and we should enjoy it, right?

I've been told I don't look like a one woman type of guy, but honestly when I have someone like Pinky, how can I not be. After all, she's pretty much what most guys (not the stereotypical guy that just wants a hot girl) want. She's sexy as hell, has a great personality, and she has her head on straight - she wants to be a chef. Well, she wants to open her own bakery in the least. Which is the main reason she wants a job right now, I think. She wants more experience in the field. I suppose the things that I like the least right now are the fact that she wants to stay on the island for quite awhile, and I'm not the most fond of it.

Also, I'm a little old fashioned, you know? I like paying for her meals and being able to say that I have the money for the bills - which I do, but since I have to work for any money that I get, I don't have too much left over. We haven't worked out the bills parts of it yet, but I already know from our first date, that she likes going dutch on the meals. I suppose we'll both have to get used to certain things. I'm still in the process of trying to teach her to lock the door when she leaves the house. In her dorm room, she never did as far as I know.

Also, I'm a little worried about one other thing... How am I going to hide my journal from her? And if she does find it, what excuse am I going to make that she would actually buy? She's a really smart person and it would take an extremely good excuse to convince her.Right now I have it hiding behind the bedside table out of sight, but all it would take is looking behind it for it to be spotted.